Friday, July 27, 2007
in the dark of the night
in the quiet of the day
in the still of noon
in the lull of work
you're taunting me again-
the voices are almost familiar this time:
you can't do it!
you're lousy, you're not good enough!
look at yourself, what are you doing?
the battle rages on-
you can
no you can't
you can
just give up
on and on... mercilessly they chant.
i don't know... ... what do i want?
my heart is torn-
oh, why do i feel so forlorn?
but in the midst of the chaos i hear a sound
still, quiet, not yet drowned.
"My child, My child, are you lost?
Come to Me, I am your Source."
self-cheer mechanism kicks in.
God's promises come a knockin'.
still feel terrible, still feel the strain.
but in it comes a familiar refrain:
"many things about tomorrow,
i don't seem to understand;
but i know Who holds tomorrow,
and i know Who holds my hand."
tired.
i'm not strong enough.
unhappy, down again.
i don't know if i feel for this.
but You are strong enough.
You will see me through, even if the seas are rough.
Your hand will never falter,
and Your ear will always hear.
Your joy will be my strength
with You i can.
Your peace floods my soul
in You i am made whole.
Your hope fills my heart
in You alone i will trust.
Your love covers me
i'll find rest in the stormy seas.
so to you, you and your snide voice-
i won't care; i'll sing and rejoice!
for my God has won the victory
and from all my burdens, i'm forever free.
-blessed
11:32 AM
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
KANECHIN!
I got 137sec for my minesweeper expert level high score!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*jumps around*
YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
This is such a joyous moment that all the humiliation and pain from my reverse splat before lunch, and the sadness at having my halfday cancelled, has evaporated into the air. :D
I wish to thank God, my parents (because without them I wouldn't be who I am today), my dear company for allowing me so much free time to train on my laptop, my lovely computer mouse which has endured countless clicks throughout the long hours at work. And oh oh, dear Kane for teaching me how to play the game and all its shortcuts, and constantly challenging me to improve my high score!! (remember the first time I completed? Haha!) I couldn't have done it without y'all. :) Thank you!
I shall sleep tonight with a beeg smile on my face. :P
-blessed
3:22 PM
Monday, July 23, 2007
I need my zz's.
I was so tired during breakfast before work all I drank was a cup of Milo.
I was tired while walking to get lunch.
Now I'm back from lunch, doing my work and still I'm tired.
The fact that I'm flu-ish due to the accumulated lack of sleep doesn't help either.
Ohhh.. man. Sniffling and wanting to doze off while doing work (oh yes, I finally have work to do.) is terrible! And I keep yawning so tears come out of my eyes. Bleah. To think I was still thinking of dropping by school after work to get some stuff done.. How, like that? Looks like I won't be able to do what I wanna do...
God, give me strength to last through the day! I want to get my things done! :P
The joy of the Lord is my strength.
-blessed
2:42 PM
Thursday, July 19, 2007
My Girl (by the Temptations, no less! :D)Hmm. That was random.
Alright, since I've nothing to do at work (what's new) and everyone's going crazy over blogthings.. Aw what the heck, I'll join in the fray. :P
My favourite colour: BLUEEEE!! :DYou are Ocean Blue 
What colour Blue are You?
Waaaaaaad... You mean fruitcake's a gift? How crappy. -_-"You Are a Fruitcake! 
What Crappy Christmas Gift Are You?
My word. Ok I think I should stop taking intellectual quizzes. It was like doing Analytical Skills la, this quiz!! o.OYou Are Pretty Logical 
How Logical Are You?
Haha this is funny!!! I think.... it's quite true! :PYour Quirk Factor: 37% 
How Quirky Are You?
Okay. Interesting result... but it's a convertible!!!! Ah, me and my love affair with convertibles. And yesterday morning I saw a VW convertible with its top down, simply beautiful. :D :DYour Summer Ride is a Mustang Convertible 
What's Your Summer Ride?
Yesh I loooooove hot fudge sundaes. (think anyone reading my blog can tell I'm hungry/ craving for good food.) Who can blame me, after 8 days of porridge!! Last night I finally had rice, hurr. :)You Are a Hot Fudge Sundae 
What Kind of Sundae Are You?
Hoho presenting the fizzy drink I consume the most often...You Are Coke 
Your best soda match: Mountain Dew
Stay away from:Dr PepperWhat Kind of Soda Are You?
Clearly, I'm very eagerly waiting for lunch. Haven't tried this flavour of Pocky though!You Are Milk Pocky 
What Flavor Pocky Are You?
Ahhhhhhhhhhh! My absolute fave!! How cool is this?! Me want ice cream. And fried mars bars. Hm. I'm starting to think that Quan was quite accurate in choosing his Little Miss/Mr books. :PYou Are Chocolate Fudge Brownie Ice Cream 
You just don't know when you've had enough (or too much)!What Flavor Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Are You?
Shall stop posting the results of the tests, but will continue taking 'em, since I've nothing to do! Haha..... And at the same time I'll figure out what I can eat for lunch without activating the toilet button. Hmm.
-blessed
9:40 AM
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
-blessed
9:33 AM
Monday, July 16, 2007
I tried. And I've nothing else to say, really.
I feel like an ant trying to fill a giant's shoes.
-blessed
11:57 AM
Friday, July 13, 2007
Evidently I'm in a happier mood, cos:
1. I've settled my timetable!
2. I've settled my bids for this week!
3. I'm feeling... better. Well, I'm not totally well yet not totally ill, so it's kinda weird. I can't go all out and indulge myself so still eating porridge for lunch I suppose... But I had plain bread for breakfast! That's a step up from porridge! :) Though now my throat is painful, still thank you God for making me better!! :D
How great You are by Philip, Craig & Dean
A thousand sparkling stars upon
A midnight summer's sky
The majesty and wonder of
The ocean's endless tide
And the more I see
The more I can't explain
How the One who set the world in place
Could even know my name
And I'm amazed
I'm so amazed
How great You are
How small I am
How awesome is Your mighty hand
And I, I'm captured by
The wonder of it all
And I will offer all my praise
With all my heart
For all my days
How great You are
How great You are
How great You are
A million snowflakes gently fall
Yet no two are the same
The colours fill the canvas of
The seasons as they change
And everywhere I look I see Your hand
Why You would love someone like me
I'll never understand
And I'm amazed
I'm so amazed
The first time I played this in office the beauty of the song, the words, how amazing God is really struck me. And as I let the song 'wash over' me I sorta envisioned the dancers dancing to this song... It's really suitable la! The pace of the song and everything. Have you guys danced to this song before or was I dreaming?? :P
-blessed
11:56 AM
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Yesterday would have been purrr-fect, if not for me having to run to the toilet almost every hour. Or was it half hour? The moment I reached the office I made a beeline for the toilet. And that was the start of many trips to come. Lunch was fish porridge that the colleagues da-baoed for me (very nice of them), but my stomach was promptly emptied soon after. As I told Grandpa, I'm really hungry cos my stomach is empty, but I don't dare to eat cos whatever goes in still comes out! Bah. Dinner was porridge too since I couldn't eat anything else (but again it all came out :X) and I went home to cut my cake but I couldn't have it!! Arghhhhhh. :( Chocolate cake again! Plus I had a slight fever. Dot was horrified when certain parts of my body began to ache and was pretty sure I'd come down with viral infection.
Downed Imodium tablets and went to sleep. Thank God that at least I had uninterrupted sleep.
Woke up this morning with a growing sense that my stomach was uneasy... But I braved it and had sandwiches for lunch (oh yeah, I took leave.)... Only to run to the toilet later on! Although today I didn't go to the toilet as much, I'm still sick! Oh sigh. Didn't eat anything after that until dinner where Mummy cooked porridge for me. Envision very very soft rice with a lot of water. That was my dinner. No extra ingredients, not even sauce. And I watched my mum eat my chocolate cake.. :(
I want so much to be able to EAT something (anything other than porridge, please!) and not have to run to the toilet later on... Even blueberry pancakes from the confectionery downstairs would be splendid. Hopefully the Imodium tablet works and I recover by tomorrow afternoon.. Else the birthday lunch with the uni peeps will have to be postponed or cancelled.
I have no idea what caused all of this, I don't know what's wrong, but Lord, please heal me! You have power over everything, including sicknesses, and I believe that only You can cast this sickness out of my body. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.
-blessed
8:10 PM
Thursday, July 05, 2007
that people thought I was wonderful and always gave me praise.
I'd love to get the glory. I'd love to steal the show.
I'd love to watch them standing when I look into the rows.
But what if tonight when I walked on stage I found I was alone,
And all the seats were empty and everyone else was home?
Can I honestly say that I would stay and do my best for You-
If no one else was there to notice all of the things I do?
It makes me wonder....
Would I give it my all if I were always standing on an empty stage?
Would I still go the distance if no one gave me praise?
Would I want to shine so brightly if I was only in Heavenly light?
Lord, would I care to share if it was just You here tonight?
What motivates my actions in everything I do?
Am I really just serving me while pretending I'm serving You?
Lord, You know how much I need to hear that everyone knows my name.
But if they don't know Yours, how much have I really gained?
So if I should ever stand on stage and listen to the cheers,
Remind me that it's just noise unless Yours are the claps I hear.
Whatever I do in this life, may I always long for Your praise.
Whenever I look to the world for esteem, may Your blood humble me back into place.
And if I should ever get angry for not receiving the credit I'm due,
Lord, remind me that instead of a pat on the back, they gave a cross to You.
I posted this- something which I took from Mich's blog- last May. While reading through my archives I chanced upon it again and I guess it's really a timely reminder.
Many of us know how to play instruments. Quite a number of us think we can play well, even though some of us have just started learning. All too often it's easy to think that it's because of MY talent, it's because of MY hard work, it's because I'M good and that's why I can play like this. Or I can sing like this. But that's not the case. True, hard work counts. But if God had not given you the gift to play your instrument, if He had not opened doors for you to develop that skill, would you be where you are today? Easily as He gives, He can take away. And as Dot said, "When pride comes, anionting leaves." Scary thought indeed.
It's time for some self-reflection.
Who are we really playing for when we serve in service? Are we serving so that at the end of the service we can expect someone to come up to us and say 'Wow, you were really good!' or are we serving cos we wanna use our gifts to honour Him? Do we serve with pride and look upon others with disdain?
It's not about us, it's about Him. When we teach, lead cell group, organize camps, do games, share with friends, pray for people, release prophetic words, play during service, etc... that's not out of our own ability. The only reason why we can do all these is because our Almighty Father has so graciously blessed us with gifts so that we can bless others, so that we can be used by Him.
And this isn't confined to the four walls of church. In school, when we get good grades, rise up to leadership positions, receive awards, win competitions, receive special mention from the profs/teachers/lecturers, etc... Who do we attribute the glory to? Me and MY hard work? Or God, who created me and has blessed me as such?
Think about it. What are you living/serving for today? Remember that we can pretend all we can, but God can see right through our mask. He looks at the heart, and He knows. Probably one of the more terrifying words I received from God when I was being sian yet outwardly trying to pretend that I was worshipping was this: Don't act spiritual with Me!
I repented immediately la! Whoa. Don't mess with the One who can see through your physical actions ok. :X Yeah well, so, always check yourself. And everytime someone praises you for what you did, say it and remember it: All glory (all, not some) goes to God (and God alone).
-blessed
8:58 AM
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
OH MY WE LOOK SO YOUNG!!!! Hmm. A family of 'superheroes'? -_-" Hahaha! I remember the first conference call we had, and you two insisted I was talking to myself when I was actually talking to my cousin! :P That was 4 years ago... how time flies! I thank God for blessing me with 2 most wonderful friends to walk Life's journey with, and that I can be a blessing to them too! I kinda forgot how we started... But God has a plan and purpose for everything! :) (I know I bring loads of laughter.... Grandpa, that broccolli thing is SO not meant to be remembered! And Dot, we have become popcorn experts, haven't we?? :P)Good things come in threes. :)
Loves to all!
-blessed
9:34 AM
Monday, July 02, 2007
But I'm so excited I can't hold it in. :D :D :D
I FINALLY FOUND THE TRANSLATION THAT WAS USED DURING THE CHILDREN'S CHURCH CAMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Ok obviously I have had nothing to do after 4pm. Initially I was wrecking my brains and trying to recall the exact sentences but I gave up and *ting* my brains, I mean God who gave me my brains, led me to biblegateway.com and I looked through all the versions till I found it! :D Yesh!
So here it is.
Ephesians 6:10-18, again. :D [New International Reader's Version]
10 Finally, let the Lord make you strong. Depend on his mighty power. 11 Put on all of God's armor. Then you can stand firm against the devil's evil plans. 12 Our fight is not against human beings. It is against the rulers, the authorities and the powers of this dark world. It is against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly world.
13 So put on all of God's armor. Evil days will come. But you will be able to stand up to anything. And after you have done everything you can, you will still be standing.
14 So stand firm. Put the belt of truth around your waist. Put the armor of godliness on your chest. 15 Wear on your feet what will prepare you to tell the good news of peace. 16 Also, pick up the shield of faith. With it you can put out all of the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Put on the helmet of salvation. And take the sword of the Holy Spirit. The sword is God's word.
18 At all times, pray by the power of the Spirit. Pray all kinds of prayers. Be watchful, so that you can pray. Always keep on praying for all of God's people.
I can just see the kids doing the actions now. :) Soj who went, bet you feel the same way too! :)
-blessed
5:46 PM
You won't read this. But your blur-ness brought a huge smile to my tired self when I saw what you sent! Haha.... And when you said you remembered it (albeit wrongly) from our exchange, which was when we were waiting for the ba chor mee to be cooked so we could bring it back for Jun and Tng (and that was last year when we were mugging for finals), I was really touched. :)
I almost feel bad for my 'Hahaha' when I replied :P
-blessed
1:49 PM
Saturday was Transformers with thecuteboywhoshallnotbenamed. Hahahahahaha! I simply refuse to put your name right? :P I really enjoyed the movie, and to think I've never watched an ep of Transformers in my life! :D And yes I agree that I wanna watch it again! Dvd, anyone? :D Secretly smuggled Macs breakfast in (Sausage McMuffin meal, cos there's no way I could cut my hotcakes in the dark.) to the amazement of thecuteboywhoshallnotbenamed and thank goodness he's a Transformers fan cos I was popping questions to him periodically throughout the movie! Haha. Then we sat outside Starbucks (without buying anything, no less.) and talked till it was time to go. Sweet!
Yesterday a bunch of us decided to drop by Poof's house for a visit and err... movie time. Haha! The poor boy was down with fever and feeling miserable. Aw. So we trooped over (in a taxi, no less. Can you imagine, I never thought the day would come when taking a taxi would be cheaper than taking a bus. :X) and watched Dreamgirls! Which didn't turn out to be as nice as I anticipated it to be. Maybe it was due to the fact that they tried to cram everything into an hour plus worth of showtime... Hmm. And we all couldn't stand Effie's voice! Haha.. Roaring into the mike I must say. Poof nearly muted her. Oh by the way he popped 3 herbal lozenges in the space of about an hour?! My good man, those ain't sweets you know! To think I thought half a pack would last you a few days. -_-"
Thanks Poof for opening your house! (And getting whacked although you were sick hurr. Dot's so violent right!! Tsk tsk. :P)
Then I got a ride to the mrt and went down to Orchard where it was shopping time with the family. Seriously, you don't want to know the amount that was spent over the last two days. I was appalled when my dad told me! Aikes. But they count all that was bought a worthy investment and in the words of my mum, "No more! No more buying for the rest of the year already. Really!"
Ok..................................
Ah well, quite good la. Dee and I feel like our bedroom's a hotel room now, esp with the air con fixed... Wahhhhh. :D
Dinner was Jap where I kinda over-ordered... Tempura udon, Chawan mushi and Ura maki! All for myself! Rahhh-ther stuffed at the end of it all, I must say. :P Though I think I satisfied my craving for sushi with the jumbo rolls. Phew. Told the parents about all the jokes the speaker told us at camp and they were quite amused haha! And the fart-and-burp one gets un-funnier each time you say it. Pooie.
Anyway, the last week was an eventful one, to say the least. I guess God has a purpose for keeping me so free in the office eh... And initially I was down. Despairing. Wondering why. There's this saying, 'When it rains, it pours' and so many things happened altogether. I wasn't wise enough to understand or go deeper below the surface of things, but after hearing what others have said, I know better now.
It's so true that we're not warring against flesh and blood, and even more pertinent that we pray and put on the amour of God now! Not tomorrow, not next week, but now, at this very moment! We have to stand firm together. In unity there is power yeah :)
I love the children's camp version of Ephesians 6:10-18, but sadly I didn't keep those 3 pieces of paper. I still remember practising with the boys for the memory verse presentations.. :)
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
Thank You Lord, that we have the victory in You!
John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
If any of you is worried about the things that have happened or will happen in the church or your own lives, remember that God is ALWAYS in control. He has already won the battle for us, we need to claim the victory as ours and quit dilly-dallying or wallowing in self-doubt. Warriors arise!!! :D :D
Am feeling so excited now. Thank You Lord, for lifting me up when I am down. :)
P.S. Also for nice colleagues who made me shift to a warmer seat in the office when they discovered me sneezing/sniffling away! Wow. :) Feeling better already.
-blessed
9:53 AM
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